Did anyone see Newsnight’s Emily Maitlis sneak in the most perfectly nuanced roll of the eyes the other week as the poor woman endured (yet another) Brexit interview with two MPs? No, I haven’t a clue who the politicians were but, frankly, do you care any longer?
With a polite “thank you”, a shuffling of her papers in a style befitting such a fine broadcast journalist and a downward glance that said it all, Ms Maitlis “spoke” for an entire nation. Go check her out in all her glory on YouTube.
We live in a country where the overwhelming majority of good, honest, hardworking people (the sort of people who have in the past made – and will in the future make – the UK great) are in desperate need of leadership but just look, as if you needed to, at the Muppets in charge. Apologies to Miss Piggy and Kermie who, I suspect, would have done better than the rabble (on all sides) we’ve had inflicted upon us these past three years.
Mrs May, with the permanent look of a well-meaning headmistress from the 1970s who’s mislaid the agenda for next Tuesday’s PTA meeting, has certainly tried (many would say she’s been endlessly “trying”). In fact, given she’s been toast for months, why hasn’t she just left them to it and sloped off with Philip – and a bottle of gin (we bought 73 million last year, by the way; #iblameBrexit) for an extended walk?
Across the aisle, Jeremy Corbyn has less charisma and character than his quinoa and smashed avocado breakfast. A man, at turns, so trapped in a warped ideology of the past and an all-consuming obsession with power at any cost that he increasingly looks like a dodgy uncle your parents insisted you visit once a month when you were seven.
Look further afield (must we!) and there’s Jacob Rees-Mogg, someone you couldn’t invent outside of PG Wodehouse; Diane Abbott, who clearly shouldn’t be let anywhere near a calculator; Nicola Sturgeon who, quite frankly, you could just put on permanent repeat and nip off on an extended holiday and the record would still be stuck – and then there’s, in Boris, a future PM in waiting!
They say we get the politicians we deserve. Well, I don’t know about you, I’m no saint but I’ve done nothing to deserve this shower.
Oh, and while you’re checking out Emily, Google “Ryan Reynolds head in hands GIF”. Frankly, I’d put the Newsnight doyen and Hollywood’s coolest dude in charge (of everything) immediately.
This blog first appeared on the website of The Index magazine